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Post by Raz V5.0 on Feb 23, 2005 21:43:09 GMT -5
Do you have relationship problems? Do you feel unwanted and want to improve your social life? Do you just have a general question to which you need enlightenment?
Well then, you have come to the right place. I, Raz, am here to give help to all of you. I will help you improve you, best of all, my service is free of charge, because I am a nice guy like that.
Now, who needs help, because frankly, when I look at this crowd, you could all benefit from some of my vast knowledge.
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Post by Juan on Feb 23, 2005 21:53:13 GMT -5
Dear Razzy,
How the fuck does one get a damn T1 line? My cable is being an ass, and the DSL station is far away enough that DSL runs like dial up.
From, Anonymous in your Mother.
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Post by Raz V5.0 on Feb 23, 2005 21:55:44 GMT -5
Dear Anonymous in my Mother,
To receive a T1 line it involves several hundred years of arcane wizardy, some smoke and mirrors, an elephant, and the corpse of Jimmy Hoffa.
Of course, you can bypass all that by a couple of good decent blow jobs.
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Post by Cygnus X-1 on Feb 23, 2005 22:45:52 GMT -5
Dear Razzy,
How does one troubleshoot overtype mode with one's keyboard?
Signed,
Gary Coleman.
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Post by Raz V5.0 on Feb 23, 2005 23:25:48 GMT -5
Dear Gary Coleman,
First, you need to get a basic troubleshooting program. This can be found on numerous websites like Microsoft.com. Then, you need to go through hours and hours of loopholes and dead-ends with their help programs. Then, after all that is through, you should go by a new keyboard.
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Post by The Fighting Libra on Feb 24, 2005 12:57:43 GMT -5
Dear Razzy,
My mother won't approve of me buying an airsoft submachine gun. How can I convince her to let me buy it?
Perplexed Idiot
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Post by Raz V5.0 on Feb 24, 2005 15:48:55 GMT -5
Dear Perplexed Idiot,
Tell your mother that it is perfectly legal and more safe than a paintball gun. If that doesn't work, buy it anyways and shoot her with it.
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Post by Xtermo on Feb 24, 2005 16:48:28 GMT -5
Dear Razzy,
I've been looking to upgrade my current Raz v 4.5 to the new 5.0 model. Please to be explaining the difference in said models.
Also, I was was thinking of starting up an advice section of my own. Any advice for an aspiring dumbshit?
Yer Pal, Random Assclown
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Post by Raz V5.0 on Feb 24, 2005 17:24:05 GMT -5
Dear Random Assclown,
The latest model of Raz has yet to be released. My sources tell me it is coming any day now though and when it does the upgrade will be well worth it.
Secondly, leave the advice stuff to those of us who can actually help people. If you want to start one of your own, I suggest you go find a random internet message board somewhere out in cyberspace and start it.
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Post by Draco Starcloud on Feb 24, 2005 18:04:15 GMT -5
Dear Raz,
Why do bloggers come in packages of eight and politicians come in packages of ten?
Signed, A Whig in Washington
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Post by Raz V5.0 on Feb 24, 2005 18:05:54 GMT -5
Dear Whig in Washington,
Bloggers come in packs of eight because they are generally larger than politicians. Therefore they take up more space to the effect that you can only get eight into a single pack.
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Post by Ai on Feb 24, 2005 18:11:56 GMT -5
Dear Razzy,
Why do poeple who watch anime consider themselves better then other people, when they aren't.
From, A Sexy Fat man
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Post by Raz V5.0 on Feb 24, 2005 19:17:13 GMT -5
Dear Sexy Fat Man,
Those people who watch anime are just dumbass retards who haven't grown up from the days they use to watch cartoons. Their heads are so far up their asses that they don't realize that Anime stops being cool once you reach your mid-teens. If I had my way everyone who still watches Anime would be slaughtered in a ritualistic fashion and then their body parts would be sold on E-Bay or donated to science.
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Post by Wag - Now And Forever on Feb 24, 2005 23:59:54 GMT -5
Dear Razzy, What do you think of this pic? Signed, Randompictureforumwhore
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Post by Raz V5.0 on Feb 25, 2005 7:56:08 GMT -5
Dear Randompictureforumwhore,
That is easily a classic painting by Michael Angelo. Notice the small MA in the top right hand corner and it gives the painting away. It is one of his best works ever but many people do not know who the actual painter is. Hopefully, I have helped you out a little.
On a sidenote, that painting sells for about thirty million dollars.
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