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Post by Xtermo on Sept 29, 2005 13:42:32 GMT -5
Mr. Ai, Mr. Ellis- This trial is to determine if, in fact, Aries is a douche. Though perhaps grossly incompetent, that is a matter for another trial. You should have added it to the list of charges against Mr. Aries at the opening if you wished that matter to be addressed by this court.
I will, however, pass your request for Administratorship to the local senate, Mr. Ai.
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Post by Ai on Sept 29, 2005 14:25:09 GMT -5
Douchery? Your honor, Aries has expressed nothing but douchery. *grins at Draco.* Wanna bet? *whacks him with the Huge URL of Doom.* groups.msn.com/_Secure/0YgCJAnYfiTmpS0n93xRsUoHHpgBx!ZT9*sc*HFRhtbpbLCsWl!7eV1Lhcp0e!oWWrVE9RA1lOJed1GuhsJ3j3*eQenZFi*S2VSnmjCMbd1IVNJFMhMv7GG6EVt2DcP3VJc7DnTZBIsbe7g6kWTy0cg/Neo-MSPB_Summer_2004_Group_Photo0.jpg You see? He's a douche.
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Post by NeoEllis on Sept 29, 2005 14:58:01 GMT -5
I also wish to bring before the court a number of facts so that it may be established, now and forever, that Aries is a douche. Exhibit A: At one point advocated, in the serious setting of the Debate Hall of the Old MSPB, Aries advocated military dictatorship. Aries attempted to join the Marines after leaving high school but was rejected for being too fat. Exhibit B: Aries, apparently being incapable making his own way in the world, drifted aimlessly on the Internet. On the part of great sympathy from myself, Miss Cygnus X-1 and our Father, took him from the depths of Texas and allowed him to live with us for no more than three weeks before he got his own apartment and job. Three weeks after coming to live with us, Aries was still in our house and had done nothing more than eat our food and play video games. Exhibit C: Aries did eventually acquire a job at a local Chinese restaurant. This seemed to give him an undeserved sense of superiority to everyone else in the house. Exhibit D: Aries was mean to our dogs. Exhibit E: Aries complained all the time. Exhibit F: Aries, in an act of near unimaginable thoughtlessness, tossed a still lit match in the kitchen garbage can and walked away. This resulted in the kitchen being completely destroyed by flame and the rest of the house suffering smoke damage. This occurred six months ago and the house is only now approaching full repair. ---Exhibit F II: Aries heard nearby water pipes bursting as a result of the fire, but did nothing about this. ---Exhibit F III: Aries -having admitted his guilt before my father, a police officer and fireman- latter behind the shield of the Internet, denied his guilt and suggested that it was in fact my father that set the fire. Exhibit G: This photograph of Aries empirically demonstrates that Aries is, in fact, a douche. I rest my case.
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Post by Cygnus X-1 on Sept 29, 2005 15:43:29 GMT -5
Now we need a Perry Mason style courtroom confession.
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Post by NeoEllis on Sept 29, 2005 16:12:40 GMT -5
Name the last time Aries admitted to a fault.
Thought so.
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Post by Xtermo on Sept 29, 2005 17:55:04 GMT -5
*hammes gavel*
In light of the damning testimony given by the prosecution, and especially their photograph, I have no choice but to conclude that Aries is, in fact, a douche.
Therefore, for the high-crime of doucheness, I sentence Dark Aries, upon capture, to 20 minutes of Chinese water torture and a 15 trillion dollar fine to be paid to the United States Federal Government via the Internal Revinue Service as it is clearly his fault that the War on Terror is so damn expensive.
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Post by Cyrus on Sept 29, 2005 18:01:58 GMT -5
20 minutes?
Thats nothing. You need at least a week for the mental damage to start taking effect.
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Post by Androidraptor on Sept 29, 2005 20:20:40 GMT -5
Well, AWA was GREAT! What's I miss, besides Aries being a douche?
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Post by Cyrus on Sept 29, 2005 20:41:21 GMT -5
AWA? whats that an anime convention?
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Post by Draco Starcloud on Sept 30, 2005 2:47:02 GMT -5
Well, AWA was GREAT! What's I miss, besides Aries being a douche? You were both elected and impeached as President of Southern Kansas City. There were four different love triangles happening and noone realized it. Laser pointers were banned after Cyrus went blind. And his uniform inexplicably jiggled while he did a hand gesture. And we thought we saw the Loch Ness Monster, but none of the photographs developed and the Scooby Doo crew said it was local fisherman trying to scare us away from pirate gold.
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Post by NeoEllis on Sept 30, 2005 12:11:37 GMT -5
You forgot about the thousand year old stone tablet that lead the bar on a quest to find Atlantis, but turned out to be a poorly rendered 3-D model of Dan Quayle.
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Post by Xtermo on Sept 30, 2005 12:29:02 GMT -5
I didn't. I mean, i actually thought I had a chance for a while there... Last time I watch 2001 after 47 beers and having had no sleep for the past 2 weeks...
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Post by NeoEllis on Sept 30, 2005 13:08:06 GMT -5
Welcome to the otherside.
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Post by Ai on Sept 30, 2005 13:12:16 GMT -5
I'm gonna come clean: I made that image of Dan Quayle.
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Post by NeoEllis on Sept 30, 2005 13:13:14 GMT -5
Ai...
Why did you put us through that!?
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