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Post by Craze on Jul 28, 2005 19:36:28 GMT -5
Excerpt from A Clockwork Orange by Anthony Burgess:
Enjoy. Milk or alcohol, what ever suits.
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Post by Xtermo on Jul 28, 2005 19:56:09 GMT -5
*X strolls into the Milk bar*
Barkeep, milk me.
*NPCs stare at X*
You heard me!
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Post by Cyrus on Jul 28, 2005 20:54:18 GMT -5
I'll have milk and whiskey. (My cousin actually had someone order that at the bar he works at)
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Post by Craze on Jul 28, 2005 21:05:14 GMT -5
*Hands X some milk and Cyrus his whiskey and milk*
*Craze takes a glass of milk himself and sits upon the bar, listening to "Take on Me"*
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Post by NeoEllis on Jul 28, 2005 21:17:56 GMT -5
Enter Ellis, whose principal interests are rape, ultra-violence and Beethoven.
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Post by The Giant-Size Man Thing on Jul 28, 2005 21:27:30 GMT -5
/me Yawns
Wake me up when everyone stops using this bar's theme.
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Post by Craze on Jul 28, 2005 21:48:39 GMT -5
I doubt it'll even last 2 pages.
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Post by Cygnus X-1 on Jul 28, 2005 22:59:18 GMT -5
You know what tastes good? Hard liquor with half-and-half and ice.
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Post by Cyrus on Jul 28, 2005 23:24:39 GMT -5
Intresting combination there, better then milk and whiskey.
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Post by Nowhere Man on Jul 29, 2005 1:22:59 GMT -5
*Puts up a poster in the corner of the Bar, featuring a drunken Hobo holding out a bottle of whiskey. The caption reads: "Got Alkyhol?"*
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Post by Ai on Jul 29, 2005 1:50:44 GMT -5
Jesus. Fucking. Christ. I just had the craziest night of my life.
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Post by Xtermo on Jul 29, 2005 2:20:36 GMT -5
Did you have a transsexual chimp sleep on your head all day while you wheeled across town in a golf-cart, while being chased by the cops, too?
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Post by Naz T Mann on Jul 29, 2005 2:27:06 GMT -5
Speaking of that, we really gotta find a new regular saturday night thing X.
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Post by Cygnus X-1 on Jul 29, 2005 10:01:16 GMT -5
Jesus. Fucking. Christ. I just had the craziest night of my life. Do tell.
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Post by Ai on Jul 29, 2005 11:58:52 GMT -5
Well, one night a week ago or so, my friend Ron, Fran and I went to the middle of nowhere, and found a Wawa. We ate there and went back to Ron's place for the night.
So last night, our friend Alan wanted to come with us. Since we spend most of our time at his place, we were happy to have him. So we go to my place before anywhere else, because I need to drop off a few things. Alan lives very close to me, so it's a short drive. However, along the way, Fran puts in the "Wipe out" song.
Already feeling unnaturally energetic, I unbuckle my seatbelt, stand up in the middle of the van (It's a van witht he middle seats removed), and begin to 'surf'. Ron changes this all when he makes a sharp right, and I fall on my side. Still cracking up, we go to my place, grab refreshments, and leave.
So we drive around South Jersey for a bit, looking for a place to go. We find a super-Wawa, a mix of a gas station, and a convenience store. So we walk in to the place, buy some food, and leave, while people are looking at us, and laughing, etc.
But why would they be asking, you ask? Because Fran has hair down past his shoulders, wears a top hat, a leather vest full of cigarettes, and pants with an odd patern. Ron, is over 6 feet tall, also with long hair, down to his neck, and was wearing a pink and striped shirt that night. I myself was wearing a dress shirt and a tie with 4 leaf-clovers on it. And we also have a megaphone.
Anyway, we soon finish our food, and begin to drive again. Ron suggests we go to the Salem Nuclear Power Plant. We can't disagree, he's the driver. So we drive around Salem County for about an hour, until we just give up trying to find it. So we go to another Wawa that we find. Not needing anything, we all stay in the car, except for Ron. He claims 'I need a fan.'. So he goes in, and returns shortly, holding a bananna, and a box of frozen sausage. We take the sausage, and begin to decorate his car with it. That's right. We put sausage all over the windshield wipers, and I put on in the hood ornament.
So we drive around a bit more, and we realize that the sausage on the windshield is just smearing grease around. Well, we pull into another Wawa, and Ron gets out, and takes a look at the damage. Yep. Some of the sausage has fallen. What do we do? Replace it. This is where it goes overboard. Ron shoves his bananna peel on the wiper as well. Fran, getting the idea, takes chocolate milk we had bought earlier, and splatters it on the window. As we're about to pull out, there's a man going into the store. Ron calls out: "Hey! I have breakfast on my window! Wanna see it work?" And flips on the windshield wiper. At this point, we're all laughing hysterically. Fran and Ron go into the store, I assumed, to buy more breakfast stuffs. Alan goes in after a minute or too, leaving me alone. I fall to the floor, and cover myself with newspaper. They come back in a little, yelling at me to wake up. Apparently a man saw me and asked if I was passed out. Well, I wasn't. So then we eventually leave, they just got drinks, and we leave.
Oh, and the mess we left on the windshield? Well, we could BARELY see out of it.
We found another Wawa. The mess grew worse.
We found ourselves in Pedricktown, a crazy, farm-landish place in the middle of fucking nowhere. We drive along a road, looking for some sort of major highway to go on, but there was no luck for a while. We eventually pulled over, and found a solution to the mess on the windshield. Ron and Fran pissed on it. It actually worked fairly well.
We soon enough find ourselves on a road leading to a well known highway, and we find our way back, and have a nice car wash along the way. Arriving home safely, and now smelling like grape, thanks to the soap at the carwash. It was the craziest fucking night of my life.
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