The Writings of Wind... And Such

[Wind]

Okay guys, I just wrote this and I felt like sharing it. I'll more than likely update this little thread with more as time goes by, but for now...

Hero

At the end
In the end
The hero always gets the girl

But what if you're not the hero?
What if this isn't your movie?
What if you're just a background character?
Only there for a split second or two.

So if, in the end, the hero always gets the girl
What happens if the competition is the hero?
You see her fall into his arms

Just a background character
Your feelings don't matter
Just there to add that certain aspect

Not the main character
Not the one the audience cheers for
Except for those select few
Cheering while they sympathize

Not the hero
No love in the end for you
Left to a fate unknown

You're just the background
No writer will tie your story up
No great romance for you
Just the background

Because when the movie ends
The hero always gets the girl
That's all that matters

[dragonclaw15]

Alright. I'm not trying to sound mean, since your poem IS good, and it has a message I can identify with, but I have to say that ultimately, it lacks rhythm. The syllable count per line fluctuates wildly, and the line count per stanza/foot/whatever the name is doesn't seem to follow a pattern at all. Add to this an unpredictable rhyme scheme... (this isn't much of a problem at all, rhyme's not as important)

I guess I'm not one to really talk about these things, as the art of poetry is something I STILL suck at, but I was just pointing these things out to you as I try to get them down myself.

I just want to say again, though, that I absolutely love the poem's message.

[Velesia]

Nice. Very nice. Though I'd have to say that your rhythm does stumble a bit. In some places that can be used as an attribute for the poem's theme, otherwise it needs a bit of carving.
But as DC said, it's got a great message, really. Awesome theme.