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Jesus!
Jun 23, 2005 22:07:29 GMT -5
Post by Ai on Jun 23, 2005 22:07:29 GMT -5
Jesus ate meat. Jesus could kick a bears ass. One time he ripped off a lion's head and put it on like a pair of shorts because he was so badass. Seriously, he can bench like 1 million pounds. He's fucking ripped, but you can't tell because he's always wearing robes, and when he's on the cross, he's slouching, and he's not displaying proper posture. He also eats babies for breakfast because he's the son of God and he can do whatever the fuck he wants. One time a guy tried to arrest him and he cut the guys balls off with a tissue. A FUCKING TISSUE. Then he ate the guy's body. He was a cannibal, a meat eater, and the greatest quarter-back in all of history.
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Jesus!
Jun 23, 2005 22:33:32 GMT -5
Post by Cyrus on Jun 23, 2005 22:33:32 GMT -5
Ok I'm confused now.
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Jesus!
Jun 23, 2005 22:35:43 GMT -5
Post by NeoEllis on Jun 23, 2005 22:35:43 GMT -5
Pff. Jesus was a pussy's pussy compared to God's final prophet, Muhammad. Mr. M ate raw meat, pig meat even, because he was the final prophet and he could if he wanted to. Also he ate stone, mostly diamonds, not because he got any sort of nutrition from them, he was just that hardcore. Muhammad could eat babies if he wanted to, but instead he just goes around aborting 8 month old fetus and eating those. Also he beat the shit out of like, 100 Arabian bandits with swords in like, 2 seconds. Twice. Then he roasted them like pork while they were still alive, ate them while they were still alive, shit them out, brought them back to life and made them his slaves. Muhammad is hardcore. HARD-FUCKING-CORE.
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Jesus!
Jun 24, 2005 12:17:28 GMT -5
Post by Ai on Jun 24, 2005 12:17:28 GMT -5
Dude, Jesus SHITS diamonds, man, Muhammad was just eating Jesus' shit because he's too lame to make his own food. Jesus once made a clone of himself and fought him. It was like they were both super saiyan 50 and they beat the shit out of each other, but in the end, Jesus kicked the clone in the balls and made him explode. THAT IS HARDCORE. Bitch.
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Jesus!
Jun 24, 2005 13:22:49 GMT -5
Post by NeoEllis on Jun 24, 2005 13:22:49 GMT -5
Muhammad only ate the diamonds to show that he wasn't afraid of anything, not even shit. Jesus is too much of a pussy to try it, he's fucking afraid of shit, man. Muhammad doesn't take shit from anyone, unless he wants to. Fighting a clone of yourself is nothing, I did that once and beat my clone in half a millisecond. God made a clone of himself and had Muhammad fight it just to test how hardcore he was. Muhammad had a tough time with the God-clone, but in the end he stuck his hand up the God-clone's ass (because he's not afraid of shit) ripped apart all his organs and crushed his brain. Then God was all like, "Oh fuck, I better not fuck with Muhammad because he's HARD-FUCKING-CORE."
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Jesus!
Jun 24, 2005 14:33:53 GMT -5
Post by Ai on Jun 24, 2005 14:33:53 GMT -5
You do realise that Jesus is the son of God, right? So basically Jesus is as powerful, if not more, than God. Muhammed may have invented boxing, but Jesus invented martial arts. He's a fuckin red belt in EVERYTHING. He's not a black belt though, because if he were, people would think he's just a showoff. Jesus is modest, Muhammed's a cunt. My prophet can beat up your prophet.
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Jesus!
Jun 24, 2005 14:35:26 GMT -5
Post by Cygnus X-1 on Jun 24, 2005 14:35:26 GMT -5
Fucking Moses did both their wives.
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Jesus!
Jun 24, 2005 15:49:04 GMT -5
Post by Raz V5.0 on Jun 24, 2005 15:49:04 GMT -5
And God said to Abraham, kill me one of your sons. Abraham replied "where do you want this killing to take place. And God said "OUT ON HIGHWAY 51."
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Jesus!
Jun 24, 2005 15:56:06 GMT -5
Post by Cygnus X-1 on Jun 24, 2005 15:56:06 GMT -5
Wait for Shiva- there's some hardcore pwnage. Look! It's got four fucking arms!
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Jesus!
Jun 24, 2005 16:07:56 GMT -5
Post by Raz V5.0 on Jun 24, 2005 16:07:56 GMT -5
Austin 3:16 said "I just whipped your ass"
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Jesus!
Jun 24, 2005 17:20:13 GMT -5
Post by NeoEllis on Jun 24, 2005 17:20:13 GMT -5
Look, if Jesus was so great then why did God turn around and make Muhammad after him? Because Jesus was a fucking pussy, that's why. Jesus got himself crucified, if Muhammad was in that kind of a mess, he'd just Force choke all those mother fuckers in a second. He's done it before and he'd do it again. And fuck Jesus' cunt belts. Muhammad is like, best friends with Siddhartha Gautama, The Buddha -and everyone knows that Buddha is a black belt in every martial art that ever was, is or will be. He's not ashamed of it, he's Buddha and he can be as arrogant as he wants because he's the Enlightened One. Buddha's belts are so black that some people call him the "Goth Belt", but Buddha's not a goth and he kills anyone that says he is.
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Jesus!
Jun 24, 2005 18:02:06 GMT -5
Post by Ai on Jun 24, 2005 18:02:06 GMT -5
Buddha's fat. Muhammed's a terrorist. Jesus is the truth, the light, and the way, and if you don;t beleive in him, he will kill everyone you've ever cared about and leave you a vegetable. Chris Reeves didn't believe in Jesus, and he transformed into a horse and PWNED him. Terry Schiavo didn't beleive in Jesus, and he transformed into bullemia, and PWNED that bitch. Saddam Hussein didn't beleive in Jesus, so he transformed into a bad looking beard and made Saddam dig a hole and hide in it. Jesus is the man. He's bad. He's so bad, he should be in detention. What have Muhammed and Buddha done to their non-believers? Nothing, because they're pussies.
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Jesus!
Jun 25, 2005 1:12:11 GMT -5
Post by Naz T Mann on Jun 25, 2005 1:12:11 GMT -5
Austin 3:16 said "I just whipped your ass" Best. Comment. Ever.
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Jesus!
Jun 25, 2005 1:56:28 GMT -5
Post by Tobari Sabbatine on Jun 25, 2005 1:56:28 GMT -5
Since wend did Jesus killed a bear? Should he could but what would be the point? I have hear he went to Indida to talk to the Buddula.
Oh, and sorry for the misspellings.
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Jesus!
Jun 25, 2005 11:01:56 GMT -5
Post by Cygnus X-1 on Jun 25, 2005 11:01:56 GMT -5
Because of the geographic location of Nazareth, it's a environmental heaven for the black bear. It was a common practice for the people of the city, particularly the Jews, to kill bears for their fur and meat. In fact, they used ever part of the animal for clothing, tools, dwellings (Jesus was a carpenter) and jewelry and other cultural items.
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