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Post by Raz V5.0 on Jan 30, 2005 16:33:51 GMT -5
Post a joke.
Half a laugh.
By gawd, it'll be a gas.
Anycrap,
What did the Alabama Sheriff say when he saw the nigger who was shot 15 times?
This is the worse case of suicide I've ever seen.
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Post by Craze on Jan 30, 2005 17:59:49 GMT -5
How do you get a dead baby to float?
Get your foot off of it.
What's worse than 10 dead babies in a barrel?
1 dead baby in 10 barrels.
What's the differance between a truck of marbles and a truck of dead babies?
You can unload one with a pitchfork.
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Post by dragonclaw15 on Jan 30, 2005 19:03:05 GMT -5
In Soviet Russia, it was inspection time for the farmers. The inspection man came up to one farmer and said, "Comrade farmer, how is production?"
The farmer said, "Comrade inspector, if you were to pile up all the potatoes, they would reach the foot of God!"
The inspector man said, "But comrade...we don't believe in God!"
The farmer shrugged and said, "That is okay. There are no potatoes."
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Post by Infested Manae on Jan 30, 2005 19:10:34 GMT -5
A little dated...
Official, to Saddam's body doubles: Good news! Saddam survived the last air strikes. Bad news: it's well known he lost his right arm...
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Post by Draco Starcloud on Jan 30, 2005 20:55:38 GMT -5
Ole was a businessman, and one day got a request from the government to fill out a form about his employees. One question asked: "How many employees do you have brokn down by sex?" When Ole filled out the answer, he wrote: "Practically all of dom."
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Post by The Giant-Size Man Thing on Jan 30, 2005 22:30:54 GMT -5
A Princeton plasma physicist is at the beach when he discovers an ancient looking oil lantern sticking out of the sand. He rubs the sand off with a towel and a genie pops out. The genie offers to grant him one wish. The physicist retrieves a map of the world from his car an circles the Middle East and tells the genie, 'I wish you to bring peace in this region'.
After 10 long minutes of deliberation, the genie replies, 'Gee, there are lots of problems there with Lebanon, Iraq, Israel, and all those other places. This is awfully embarrassing. I've never had to do this before, but I'm just going to have to ask you for another wish. This one is just too much for me'.
Taken aback, the physicist thinks a bit and asks, 'I wish that the Princeton tokamak would achieve scientific fusion energy break-even.'
After another deliberation the genie asks, 'Could I see that map again?' -------------------------
There is this farmer who is having problems with his chickens. All of the sudden, they are all getting very sick and he doesn't know what is wrong with them. After trying all conventional means, he calls a biologist, a chemist, and a physicist to see if they can figure out what is wrong. So the biologist looks at the chickens, examines them a bit, and says he has no clue what could be wrong with them. Then the chemist takes some tests and makes some measurements, but he can't come to any conclusions either. So the physicist tries. He stands there and looks at the chickens for a long time without touching them or anything. Then all of the sudden he starts scribbling away in a notebook. Finally, after several gruesome calculations, he exclaims, 'I've got it! But it only works for spherical chickens in a vacuum.' --------------
What's the difference between mechanical engineers and civil engineers? Mechanical engineers build weapons. Civil engineers build targets. ---------------
Hey, they're better than the tasteless dead baby jokes.
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Post by Craze on Jan 30, 2005 23:18:50 GMT -5
There are two muffins in an oven. One muffin turns to the other and says, "Man, it's hot in here." The other muffin screams, "Oh my god! A talking muffin!"
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Post by dragonclaw15 on Jan 30, 2005 23:29:22 GMT -5
This next joke is very Asian, and you have to understand that sometimes people eat the craziest shit in Asia.
That having been said, my dad told me this joke, which is an indicator of how cool he is.
A man was visiting a city famed for its bullfights and enjoying the show in the arena. Afterward, he went to a restaurant near the bullfighting ring and saw that a customer nearby was being served a huge, meaty dish. He asked the waiter what it was.
"Oh, that's bull penis, a delicacy around here. It's fresh from this afternoon," said the waiter.
"Really?" said the man. "I'll have that."
"Sorry," said the waiter. "We only have that one. Maybe you can get it next week?"
The man agreed, and the next week he came back and ordered the bull penis. When it was served, it was much smaller than the one that had been served last week. He asked the waiter why this was.
"Oh," said the waiter, "this week the bull won."
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Post by Raz V5.0 on Feb 4, 2005 19:44:38 GMT -5
A nigger, a spic, and a white guy are walking down the beach. The walk along and the nigger trips over a bottle sticking out of the ground. All 3 of them gather around it and start to dust it off. All the sudden a genie pops out. The genie says he will grant them all one wish. He looks at the black guy and asks 'What would you like'.
The nigger thinks for a second, then replies "I want all my nigger brothers and sisters to be returned to Africa so we can all be happy and free."
The genie snaps his fingers and poof, all the niggers are gone. He looks at the spic now and says "What do you want?"
The spic thinks about it for a moment, then replies "I want all my spic brothers and sisters to be returned to Mexico so we can all be happy and free."
The genie snaps his fingers and poof, all the spics are gone. He know looks at the white guy and says "What do you wish for?"
The white guy looks at the sand for a second, then replies "You mean to tell me all the niggers and spics are out of America?" The genie nods and replies "Yes." The whiteguy looks at the sand again and then looks up "Well I guess I'll just have a coke then."
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